What Kind of Dictator Would You Be: And Other Topics My Kids Bring Up

Driving around with my kids can be a wonderfully mysterious, often hilarious, experience. Getting to hear their insight into life, experiencing their wit and emerging ideas can have you in stitches, or tears, depending on the subject matter.Recently we were out and about grocery shopping when I was startled by this question from my son.

“Dad, if you would be a dictator, what kind of dictator do you think you would you be?”

Well now there’s a question you don’t get every day. In fact, I don’t think I have ever given it a thought! I was not sure how to begin to answer his question, so I did the classic; I have no idea where to go with this one, move and turned it back to him.

“Hmmm. Not sure son. What kind of dictator do you think you would be?”

Unlike me he had obviously given this a good deal of thought, because he immediately responded.

“I would want to be a good dictator so people would like me and stuff. I would try to make everything equal for the people. I would try to show people how to do God stuff, show them right from wrong. And I would avoid death at all costs!”

At first I wondered how avoiding death was a political objective, but after I thought about it for a bit it did make sense. However, I am not sure he’s picked up on the difference between a democratic leader and a dictator, but that is one of the reasons the conversation was so funny. And I guess I had better inform him that eventually death is in the cards for all of us.

On another recent trip, he reminded me to “buckle up.” I thanked him for reminding me. After a brief moment of silence he burst out with.

“You must have AIDS!”

“What?” I asked, shocked and surprised.

“You know. It’s a disease that makes you forget stuff. And you forget stuff all the time so you must have AIDS.”

It was very hard not to burst out laughing. “Do mean Alzheimer’s?” I asked him.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “That’s the one I mean.”

This morning on the way to church with my kids we talked about the economy and the political will to make hard choices. They brought it up and off we went. At one point we stopped the conversation and I was told,

“This is a good conversation and I’m enjoying it so don’t stop talking.”

On the way back we talked about abortion and war, why they exist and what Jesus might want for those situations. After that we discussed homosexuality and the Kingdom of God. Believe me that was a challenging conversation to have with a twelve and fourteen year old.

What a gift my kids are. While they are typical kids, they think deeply about life. Sometimes I expect them to be occupied only with fun thing like sports, cell phones, and music. But I am constantly challenged with their deep thoughts about the nature of life.

Lord have mercy. I need far more wisdom than I have to guide them.

Peace.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Christmas

So a funny thing happened on the way to Christmas.

We always like to go out and cut our tree the weekend after Thanksgiving. That way we get to enjoy the tree for a whole month. It’s a big family outing. And then we decorate the tree and bring out the old standby ornaments we have had since the kids were just little. It’s a wonderful way to spend the weekend.

Usually my dear wife is the tree chooser. Oh the rest of us act like we have a say, but in reality it is the queen of our household who gives the nod to this or that tree. We start out at the tree farm with all the options. There are big trees, little trees, fat ones, well shaped ones and those that have gaps. They all cost the same so price is not really an issue. But my dear wife has us traipsing hither and yon looking for that perfect sized and full-bodied tree. Often we wind up at the first or second rejected one, because it was “Ok after all.” This year the weather was perfect, not too cold. We were done in about 20 minutes; very little fuss or wasted time. Sue said, “That was too fast. It should have taken longer.” I should have known then that something strange was up.

Then the decorating of the tree went off without a hitch. My wife rarely rants, but I have experienced her completely unglued when strings of lights seemed to have a will of their own, randomly lighting up and going out. Numerous times we have had the tree inexplicably decide to lean off to one side, which made my poor spouse crazy! Other years ornaments fall for no reason, but not this year. This year there was none of that. The new LED lights worked like a charm. The tree seems to be standing at attention. And all the tree ornaments are hanging in there. Why didn’t I take notice?

I managed to purchase my children their gifts a couple of weeks ago. Sue’s gift was purchased last week. Looking back I realize all this was going way too smoothly. Wednesday evening I wrapped Sue’s gift. I do not enjoy wrapping gifts, and I am not that good at it. Somehow the paper always gets bunched up or crooked and looks like a third grader did it. But since it was Sue’s gift I couldn’t very well have her wrap it. So I managed to wrap this rather large box in a way that actually looked Ok. The stripes were running pretty straight, and everything lined up.

I was in the process of bringing her gift down the stairs to the waiting tree. Now the stairs in our home seems to be the repository for just about everything under the sun. At any time one might find homework, coats, socks, books, really just about everything on our stairs. Well my field of vision was full of a freshly wrapped gift and I did not see that about half-way down the stairs was the homework assignment of one of our dear offspring. My foot hit the paper, which decided to act like black ice, and suddenly I was moving down the steps in a far more rapid fashion that I ever anticipated. Well at least a part of me was. While one leg was bumping rapidly down the stairs, my other leg managed to get twisted and wedged at what felt like eight feet in the other direction. After all of me was back together at the bottom of the stairs I was one hurting puppy. And sure enough I am now the proud owner of a fractured fibula. Thankfully it was not a complete break or a displaced fracture.

On another bright note the freshly wrapped gift was intact and not even wrinkled; and our stairs have never looked so empty. My family jumps to serve me at every turn, a reality I am trying to milk for all it’s worth. My neighbor even came over to check on me today while everyone was at work and school. My hunch is that all this service will change in direct proportion to the return of my mobility.

Well next year I am looking forward to at least an hour of looking for just the right tree in a cold wind, preferably one that won’t stand up straight. Hopefully the lights will not work properly. And I won’t buy any Christmas gifts until the week of Christmas. And hopefully next year I will not have any broken bones.

Peace,

Leon

Jesus Might Have Been a Liberal

I have been known to be accused of leaning to the political left, but really I am just a moderate. Now Jesus…I am not sure, but I think Jesus might have been a liberal and maybe even a Democrat. He didn’t seem to be much of a Republican “Why do you think that?” You may ask. Well just look at the kinds of causes he championed: Health care, gun control, anti-violence, and environmentalism. He sure sounds like a liberal democrat to me.

Universal Health Care:

Jesus had an amazing health care program that covered most everyone we read about who needed care. I mean, he even brought back a couple of guys from the dead. Now that is a liberal universal health care policy if I ever heard of one. Can you imagine how much damage that did to the enterprising funeral industry? If he messed up the free market, he couldn’t have been a Republican.

Gun Control:

Well perhaps we had better say weapon control since they didn’t have guns back in those days. He did seem to want to limit the amount of swords his disciples had around at the time of his arrest. And he disapprovingly told Peter to stop using his sword and that it was a way to get himself killed. Sounds like a democrat to me.

Anti-Violence:

Some might say that this could include war; others would argue that it was only personal violence. But pretty much everyone would agree that Jesus was a big proponent of turning the other cheek in the face of violence as opposed to fighting and responding in kind to the slurs and violence that came against him. Liberal propaganda.

Environmentalist Agenda:

On more than one occasion Jesus’ followers were known to pick up food left behind at huge picnics and gatherings. This demonstrates that Jesus must have had a concern for the environment. What is it that Rush says about these environmentalists? Wackos?!

So that about sums it up. Here are four big liberal agenda items that Jesus seemed to care about. Yep. He must have been a liberal. I sure hope those people over at FOX News don’t start dissing the good Lord over his political agenda.

Wow. My cheek is hurting. Must be my tongue sticking in it.

Peace,

Leon