Just What Does it Take to Make a Decision

My wife is one of those people who likes to tackle a decision only after getting all the facts. Me? Well I think can get “all the facts I need” to make a decision more quickly than she. In other words I like to fly by the seat of my pants.

While Sue and I don’t always reach the same conclusions, there are time when her plodding, methodical approach brings her to the same opinion I reached in about ten seconds. And then there are times when I am enlightened by her “research” and am persuaded to join her wholeheartedly. So we walk on in life and balance each other.

But there was this one time, about ten years ago, when Sue did something uncharacteristically rash. Without having all the plans in place, without knowing all the facts, she made a decision that changed the direction of her life. I was kind of shocked as I watched her, wondering what in the world she was thinking. This was not the Sue I had known for most of a decade. What was going on inside her? Had she taken leave of her senses?

You see ten years ago today, October 2 1999, Sue said I do and married me and our two children. I had lost my first wife to cancer, the kids were three and five years old; and Sue married us anyway! What a difference that has made for us all.

So I got to witness Sue jumping into the great unknown and am grateful to God that I got to jump into the unknown with her.

Happy anniversary Sue.

Peace

Leon

Bless my Enemies

Every now and then I reflect on the difficult times in my life. Ok. I’ll be honest. There are times when I obsess on how people have hurt me, or those I love. We say it is natural to feel anger or respond with less than charitable feelings. And yet I am coming to believe that when we are most human, we are most clearly reflecting the glory of God.

I recently read about the stoning of Stephen. As he was dying he implored God to not count his own murder as sin. I do not possess that purity of spirit. It humbles me to realize how far I am from what God intends for my life to be. Thus the prayer below from St. Nikolai, the author of the Prayers by the Lake. This man understood the depth of humanity, but also had a glimpse of the beauty of God at work within his life. This prayer gives expression to who I desire to be…someday.  Lord have mercy.

A Prayer of St. Nikolai of Ochrid

Lord, Bless My Enemies

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into Thy embrace more than friends have. Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath Thy tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world. They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself. They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments. They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish. Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf. Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background. Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand. Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep. Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out. Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of Thy garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me: so that my fleeing to Thee may have no return; so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs; so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul; so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins: arrogance and anger; so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven; ah, so that I may for once be freed from self deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.

Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself. One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends. It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.

Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and my enemies.

A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand.But a son blesses them, for he understands. For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life. Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Amen