December 1, 1998

Once on the first of December I said I do. Then eight years later on a December first I learned a new word. It was December 1, 1998. We (my first wife and I) approached the Dr’s. office with a mixture of hope and dread. On the one hand we could not believe it could possibly happen to us, on the other we knew something was very wrong inside her body.

They had already told us there was a rather large spot on her left lung, but we were hoping it was a mucus plug, a benign anything, or some crazy artifact; we longed to hear words of comfort and have the good Dr. smile and say we had nothing to worry about. Instead he was about as serious as any human I have ever encountered.

He sat down and said, “The biopsy has returned. I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Turning to Lena he said, “You have an adenocarcinoma.” It was both a clinical term and a statement of finality. At some level I had already accepted the fact that Lena would die, as a large spot on the lung spells big trouble. But I could not comprehend that this horrible adeno… whatever was now our reality.

I was at a loss for words. Lena asked in a very weak voice, “Is that like lymphoma?” naming what was probably the only technical name for cancer that she knew. Dr. E. sadly shook his head and said, “If only it was.” Then I knew that my worst fears would come true. Dr. E. was telling us, barring a miracle, this was the beginning of the end. He promised to put us in touch with an Oncologist and ushered us to the door. The whole thing took about 15 minutes.

We were stunned, numb, confused, scared, and trying to act normal in front of all the people in the waiting area. We still had to pay and fill out some papers. As we stood in line trying to act Ok, Lena said she didn’t feel very well, and suddenly began to collapse. I managed to get her to a chair and get someone to help as she lost consciousness. I have no idea what happened to the paperwork. And with that, the blur of what went on to become December 1998 began.

So on that December 1, I learned a new word, a deadly word: adenocarcinoma. It wasn’t clinical to me. It was personal! This word referred to my loved one.

On this December 1, I think back to that one. And I vow to learn, and use, other kinds of words; words that words that lift up my wife and family, words that communicate life and love, words that express appreciation and support, words that bring joy and laughter, words that inspire hope and desire, words that, as the scriptures teach us, are like honey.

While adneocarcinoma was thrust uninvited into my life, these other words are mine to go after, mine to share, mine to learn and use.

Grant this O Lord.
Peace,
Leon

Just What Does it Take to Make a Decision

My wife is one of those people who likes to tackle a decision only after getting all the facts. Me? Well I think can get “all the facts I need” to make a decision more quickly than she. In other words I like to fly by the seat of my pants.

While Sue and I don’t always reach the same conclusions, there are time when her plodding, methodical approach brings her to the same opinion I reached in about ten seconds. And then there are times when I am enlightened by her “research” and am persuaded to join her wholeheartedly. So we walk on in life and balance each other.

But there was this one time, about ten years ago, when Sue did something uncharacteristically rash. Without having all the plans in place, without knowing all the facts, she made a decision that changed the direction of her life. I was kind of shocked as I watched her, wondering what in the world she was thinking. This was not the Sue I had known for most of a decade. What was going on inside her? Had she taken leave of her senses?

You see ten years ago today, October 2 1999, Sue said I do and married me and our two children. I had lost my first wife to cancer, the kids were three and five years old; and Sue married us anyway! What a difference that has made for us all.

So I got to witness Sue jumping into the great unknown and am grateful to God that I got to jump into the unknown with her.

Happy anniversary Sue.

Peace

Leon

What To Do If You Forget Your Anniversary

So today is my anniversary. About right now nine years ago my wife, the kids and I were all getting married. It seems like a dream. Looking at the video the kids were so young! Now they are in middle and high school. I’ll pick up a lovely bouquet of flowers on the way home, but I always like to note the day the first thing in the morning.

In anticipation of celebrating the blessed event I went and got myself a nasty cold! So armed with a terribly scratchy throat and a runny nose I went to bed last night determined to be the first to say, Happy Anniversary!” this morning.

Needless to say the scratchy throat and runny nose kept waking me up throughout the night. I saw 12:30, 2:30, 4:15, 4:45, 5:30, 5:45, and finally I just got up at 6. What a night. Well in the hub-bub of everyone getting ready for school and work, grabbing something to eat, packing lunches showering, guess what I forgot? Yup. I forgot to wish my dear wife a wonderful anniversary and didn’t even think of it until I was arriving at work.

I could just imagine her feeling bad. I was sure she was in her office wondering what was wrong with me that I had not even mentioned our nuptials, let alone gotten her a card. Oh the guilt! Sure we are going away this weekend, but to not even notice the day…that was unforgivable.

So I called her at work. Her supervisor answered the phone. I explained the problem to her so that she would not be upset about a personal phone call at work. There was a long wait until my wife finally said, “Hello.” What was behind that one word? Was she angry? Hurt? She might have said hello dear or something, but just hello? I was sure I was in trouble. So I blurted out a “Happy Anniversary,” in my cheeriest, albeit very scratchy, voice.

She laughed! She laughed at me and said, “This is the second. I was thinking we got married on the third. I guess it is our anniversary!” Not only did SHE FORGET she even got the date wrong!

So gentlemen I have a bit of advice. If you do forget your anniversary, fake it until you know for sure you are in trouble. It just may be that your dear wife has forgotten too.

Peace,

Leon