It’s that time of the year. School is out and families are preparing to experience the great camping adventures of summer.
We have friends who use pop-up campers, others prefer tents, and there are even a few who love a sleeping bag out under the stars. But they all tell wonderful stories of sitting around the campfire at night, making smores, roasting hotdogs and making hobo breakfasts on the bottom of old tin cans. What an economical way to bring entertainment and fun into the lives of your children. And it doesn’t stop there. I know elderly people who as they got older bought bigger and better campers. When they camp it is in style. Every weekend throughout the summer one can find large groups of people visiting or playing games together as they sit outside their beautiful pull behinds or RV’s.
I am not one to rain on anyone’s camping experience, but I just don’t like sleeping outdoors. I don’t like sleeping in a tent. I don’t like mosquitoes and bugs. I don’t like choking on smoke. I don’t like baking in the heat or freezing in the cold. Actually camping seems like the perfect way to waste a house. My big beef is with tent camping, but please hear me out. Almost every time I have been camping since 1979 it has rained. In fact, I can only remember one time when it didn’t. And I don’t mean a gentle rain or drizzle.
Once in Indiana there was a tornado. Tents blew away, trees came crashing down, camp sites were flooded; it was a doozy. Then there was that time in the UK, it started raining the minute I got into my sleeping bag. All night long the rain poured down, and before it was done it was raining sideways. I was soaked. My sleeping bag was soaked. My backpack and everything in it was soaked. But since I was not a quitter several nights later we were trekking once again. This time it alternately snowed, hailed and sleeted throughout the night. People always say things like, “Oh but what great memories!” Memories! I needed inner healing after that week!
Sometime since that night I decided the camping Gods had it in for me. Never again would I go camping. But then I got married. And a couple of years ago my wife begged me to go camping in a tent with her and the kids. I told her “No way was I going to sleep in a tent again.” I explained that if I did it would rain. She scoffed at me and muttered something about inducing a curse.
So after we got the tent set up (you see who won that argument) we chatted with the folks nearby and finally decided to go to bed around ten that night. And sure enough it started to rain. The little creek near our tent was transformed into a raging torrent. Soon a small river was running through the tent. Once again everything got soaked and once again I got no sleep. I spent a large chunk of the next day at a laundry washing and drying things out.
I really should find a way to market this unusual ability…or curse. Got a drought? Give me a call. I’ll set up camp and it WILL rain. For now I will watch others go camping and listen to their stories of adventure. Me; I prefer a Hampton Inn and Suites with high speed internet and a good breakfast buffet. I‘m not a weenie. I just hate getting wet out of context.
Peace,
Leon
Sorry camping has been so drenching for you.
One of the things I like best during camping, which you didn’t mention, is waking up early, stoking the fire and perculating a nice pot of coffee… letting the coffee aroma fill the campsite.
But of course if you are going to go camping anyway, coffee in the morning is a great way to wake up. Same goes for a high class hotel!
Amen, amen! When my freshmen orientation group at EMU was laying down a tarp to “sleep under the stars” on, we laid it on a nest of bees and we all got stung multiple times. Then it poured down rain and we finally gave up and went back to the dorms. I’ve never understood the thrill of going camping every other weekend like the other people in my office. I’ll take my comfy furniture, A/C, Tivo and high speed internet!
There you go campers. Commentary from a professional woman. Who can argue with that? ;~)
Camping and rain…….they just kinda go together, don’t they? The last time we went, probably 5 years ago, the air mattress that we were going to use got ruined before we even got it in the tent. We spent the night sleeping on towels or anything remotely soft. My husband spent half the night in his truck because it was quite miserable in the tent. Needless to say, we only spent one night there instead of the two that we had planned to stay. Still…..I’m thinking of taking the kids and going with a friend, who is an avid camper, later this summer. It’s in the mountains….by a beautiful river…it’s a kids’ paradise. I know……I’m nuts!!!
It does sound like a beautiful place, but, yep, you’re nuts!
I concur with your sentiments and enjoyed a good chuckle at your escapades- laughing with you, not at you, of course!
Last summer I took my mom and my 2 teen daughters to NYC for a week while my husband took the 10 yr old to upstate NY on a fossil dig expedition. They planned a “manly man” vacation: sleeping under the stars, cooking on an open fire and eating out of cans, minus showers and other girly sensitivities. We planned a week that included an evening at Bobby Flay’s restaurant, tickets to “Phantom of the Opera”, lots of Starbuck’s stops, makeovers, and nights spent in a 4 star hotel. He called me one night that week to extol the virtues of their “perfect” vacation, and the girls and I promptly assured him WE were having the “perfect” vacation, not he!
That being said, I recall not so very long ago as a single mom of 4 taking week long vacations tenting at Chincoteague. At that age and stage, even with the island’s legendary mosquito population, sleeping in a tent while having the freedom of a safe area for them to ride bike, swim, crab and run relatively free was far preferable to being stuck in a 8 x 8 x 8 cube with 4 kids. It usually included at least some rain, but I still recall coming home refreshed. The week usually included a whole backpack of books I never had time to read otherwise, and that was heavenly for me! My daughter in law does the same with her 3 who are now at those ages, and I understand why it works for her- but I don’t join them! For me, at this stage of my life, camping and vacation are mutually exclusive and don’t belong in the same sentence!
In the 20+ years I have known you, I still marvel at how true it is that when Leon goes camping, it rains. I remember two such experiences with you and it rained both times. So if Sue and the kids want to go camping, they can come with us. We will gladly let you stay at home. Just be there first thing in the morning with a great pot of Monks Blend and a nice danish and all will be well.
HAHA. I hate camping, too. Texas is experiencing some serious droughtage. Come on over!